This is 100.
I had never thought about what it was like to live to 100 until I met my mother-in-law, Henrietta. She was most likely not the typical 100 year old woman, nor the typical mother-in-law, but she sure was one that I intend to emulate. I met her when she was 95 when I married her son, Steve (after he and I had been widowed). She died at 103. During those 8 years, I was as much basked in her love as if I had been in her life for much, much longer.
Henrietta abounded with love and kindness. And so, for me, 100 is:
1- Never wanting to be a burden: She lived alone in her Florida apartment until she was 98 when we begged her to come north, nearer to us and other family, so we could help when help was needed. When she finally agreed, she became the most popular resident in the assisted living community.
2- Being delighted to go to lunch with her son and daughter-in-law and insisting on picking up the check: Whether it be Chinese food, Italian food, a diner, or elegant dining. She wanted to “treat”.
3- Making sure I felt at first welcomed, and later, loved: I met her the first time at her home in Florida. Her gracious hug, was warm and heartfelt. At less than 5 feet tall (I am 5 feet 8 inches) she seemed a lot taller as all that warmth filled the spaces between us.
4- Telling me whenever we were alone, “It is so unusual for a mother and daughter-in-law to love each other so much”: Just plain TRUE.
5- Thinking that no article of clothing should cost more that $10: I took the tags off the clothing I bought for her when shopping became too exhausting for her. At first I told her the actual cost of a lovely jacket she enjoyed. She thought I overspent (I didnt!). So after that, my gifts to her were “bargains”.
6- Thinking that no pair of shoes should cost more than $10 (see above).
7- Having a valid driver’s license at 98, but being “too tired” to turn her head to the left and to the right to check for oncoming traffic at the stop sign: This was the event that convinced us to bring her north and do her driving for her.
8- Outliving her husband by 30 years, and all of her friends. She had one friend left — who lived across the hall from her. Her friend was 86. They were taking care of each other.
9- Eating bacon at every breakfast despite very high blood pressure. ‘you have to die of something’.
10- Slipping away in the night, not to be burden.
